I am one bad blogger..

Its been a while since I have posted anything here but I have been very busy. Adjusting to life with a baby takes time and as soon as we have a routine, her habits seem to change. She is staying awake most of the time now and loves to play and give kisses. She kisses me and dad and all her stuffed animals and now she even wants to kiss Sasha... It took me three months to teach Sasha not to kiss Kaylee now how long is it going to take to teach Kaylee not to kiss Sasha? Sasha, of course was loving every minute of it!

Now for some deep thoughts I have had recently.. Along with change must come some adaptation right? Well I often wonder what it would be like to be a stay at home mom (SAHM). Let me just say as of now with current financial situations and 2 mortgages (hopefully only one by the end of this month) this is not a possibility without drastically changing our lifestyle, but I have been giving it some thought. (incase some co-workers are reading this I have no intentions of leaving my current position) I am sure this maybe a "grass is always greener" scenario but here are my thoughts.

Lets start with being a working mom. I must say I am extremely lucky to have a boss who is very understanding and lets me bring Kaylee to work with me. I love having her right here with me and knowing she is safe. Everyone says I am so lucky and I am. That said, I must point out that there are days when I have a hard time with this. For the most part she is very well behaved and I am able to get all my work done no problem but there are also days where I feel like I am going to pull out my hair by the end of the day. Days where all she wants me to do is hold her and I am so busy with work I cant do that. She, of course, doesn't understand and is fussy all day. There are days where I feel guilty because I will be very busy and look down and realize she has been in her swing for about an hour. She is happy and fine but I start to feel guilty like I should be entertaining her or working on her sitting up right.. interacting with her in some way other than just talking to her. I am sure this bothers me more than it does her but I cant help feeling like I am neglecting her.
Now there is going to come a day where Daycare is going to be inevitable. One day I am going to wake up and say I cant do this and watch after a mobile baby around the office all day. The sum of money being saved on Daycare because I bring her to work is a pretty large sum as well. (if you haven't had a need to look into daycare prices I have forewarned you. not cheap and if it is you probably don't want to have your baby there, but I digress)I have always said if I am working to pay for daycare, I might as well stay home, right? Well I make a bit more than daycare would cost. I have had some offers from family to help a couple days a week and don't really want to pay for daycare for just a a couple days. Most places still charge a full rate for drop ins.
Now lets talk about when I go home.. quitting time hits I pack up the baby and her stuff make the 45 minute (give or take traffic) commute home go to the gym and then I still have to do stuff around my house and lets just say sometimes I feel like I have 2 full time jobs and a household to maintain. Chris helps with Kaylee Dinner and cleaning and the animals but there is still so much to do and so many hours in a day. Sometimes I get home and am just overwhelmed.
Now since I have no real experience of a stay at home mom (except the weeks after having her) I have to think realistically that they get a lot of these same feelings. So I am not sure how many people even look at this but it would be nice to get some insight on the whole SAHM side. Just to compare.